IWSG September--Making Time for Writing

Okay, I'm a few days late on this insecure post. I thought I would have time to write this before Wednesday, then Wednesday came and went, and I fell far behind. Which is kind of my insecurity this month. While I'm feeling more confident about my writing these days, feeling like I've gotten the hang of things a bit, the thing I have been struggling with is making time for my writing.

This is an age-old problem, I know. But it seems the more "adult" I get, the less time I have to do what I want. There are always other things battling for my time: laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, writing critiques, relationships, sleep, etc. It seems there are a million excuses I could throw out there to not write. My heart wants to, but there have been some days where I have felt so under the weather with headaches or from lack of sleep lately, that although I've had "time" to write, it feels like I don't have the concentration to accomplish anything. 

As a result, I've had a couple of no-writing days, and that's just bad--no matter how you look at it. 

On the plus side, I am in an online class right now which is on developing a short story from start to finish, so it's at least gotten me thinking of writing and planning and plotting. I try to remind myself on these days of no writing to pick up a book and read a lot, for I know there's much to be learned from reading. But on days with a horrible headache/neck-ache (remnants of a car crash years ago), it's hard to even do that.

So this month I am going to focus on getting back on a schedule which carves out specific time for myself. Perhaps I need to revisit making weekly goals for myself and meeting those goals. Since there has been so much more going on lately, I know that I will have to keep my goals simple, but if I have goals, I will be motivated meet them and more motivated to get work done. 

So here's to a productive September! 

Row 80 Round 3 Pre-Check

I finished this last round with a very productive week. I'm proud to say that, for the first time, all my goals were met. 

Last week's goals:

1. Finish storyboarding StM, all 24 scenes (that's only 4 scenes for 6 days).

2. Edit the next chapter on POS.

3. 7-5 blackout on TV for two days.

4. 750 words daily.

5. My writing lesson (F2K) and feedback for my classmates needs to be written and posted by Friday.

6. At least 3 critiques need to be written by Friday for my writing group.

----

A part of me is relieved that I reached all these goals, but writing is a never-ending job. This week is bound to be more challenging with my mom having just arrived for a visit. So with that in mind, I'm going to keep this week's goals simple.

This week:

1. 750 words daily.

2. Write at least one character bio for my WIP, StM. 

3. Edit the next chapter on my WIP, POS. 

4. My writing lesson (F2K) and feedback for my classmates needs to be written and posted by Friday.

I've been experimenting with character bios, where I write a summary of the story as it concerns to each character from their POVs. With one down, I'm finding out amazing things about perspective and entertaining the possibility of a second POV being added to StM. It's something I'm a bit nervous about, but I think it's got a lot of promise. This week, I'll be thinking over and researching that idea and continuing to write more bios and see what paths they lead me down.

~I.E.

What are some of your Row 80 goals? How do you choose your goals for the week? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts on how you meet your weekly goals.

Row 80 Check-In (Last Round 2 Check-In)

Since I jumped into Row 80 toward the middle of Round 2, the end of the round took me by surprise. Regardless, I missed my wrap up check-in on Wednesday, so I'll do that now. 

Overall, I'm pleased with how Row 80 has worked for me. I'm a goal-oriented person, and making weekly goals is a great thing to have when planning my week. I would occasionally do that anyways, but this gives me motivation to make the list and check it off. In some senses, it holds me accountable for getting the work done. Even though I know life gets in the way sometimes, and things don't get done when I want them to get done, making weekly (and daily) goals helps. If I know that my Monday is too booked to write, or my weekend will be unavailable for writing, I can schedule the remainder of my week accordingly.

Honestly, the biggest challenge I have is setting reasonable goals. For me, since I'm in the editing phase of two novels, a reasonable goal means I need to have an idea of how much editing a scene needs. I have to guesstimate how many scenes and/or chapters I can make it through in a day, and then set goals accordingly. Round 2 of Row 80 has taught me to give myself more time than I think I need. I always think I'm quicker at editing than I am. Considering the fact that I am editing to share with a critique group, I want it to be "perfect." (Yes, I realize it will never be perfect, but that doesn't stop me from trying.)

So my editing takes a long time. It involves second-guessing, third-guessing and sometimes quadruple-guessing myself. However, having a weekly goal of getting through 1500 words of editing and posting it for my critique group encourages me to (okay, demands that I) get it done that week. It may take a little longer, or I may post before I'm completely happy with something. But it means that I meet my goal, and I can move ahead. All too often, I'm reluctant to share, thinking it's not quite ready, and then I let the weeks slide by. In the end, when I post, it's not much different from when I was working on it three weeks before. So all in all, Row 80 is forcing me forward. And forward is where I want to be. 

(I'll save my weekly update for Sunday, since that's the day I've been setting my weekly goals.)

~I.E.

Row 80 Sunday Check-In (Check-In #4)

 

  I had several goals last week, some of which I forgot about... find last week's post here. I'm not going to address the ones I already completed as of last week, but the ones I hadn't completed are below.

Last week's goals: 

WIP #1=POS
b) Edit an average of 1000 words a day on this WIP

WIP #2=StM
c) Storyboard StM and get the main points of this novel figured out for draft two

Journal
d) Write 750 words a day in my freewriting journal (ongoing goal)

Additional Goals for week of 25 May 2013-01 June 2013:

1. Finish storyboarding StM this week and examine what needs to be done in my revisions.
2. Brainstorm for a short story I've been digging my heels in about writing. 
3. Work from home at least one day this week.
4. Turn off the TV from 7-5 at least one day this week.

Status:

b) 7/7 days completed

c) began, about 1/3 way through

d) 7/7 days completed (6241/5250 words)

1. forgot about, will roll over into next week
2. started today, must continue next week
3. Work from home at least one day this week. (done, although not very successfully)
4. Turn off the TV from 7-5 at least one day this week. (2/1 times)


This week's goals:
1/c. Must finish outlining/story-boarding StM. 
2. Brainstorm for this short story idea I have.
3. Write a rough draft of this short story in my head, even if it's horrible
4. Turn off the TV at least two days this week from 7-5

b. Continue editing a minimum of 1000 words a day on POS.
d. Continue 750 words a day

Whew! That feels ambitious. I'd better get started...


~I.E.

Row 80 Sunday Check-In (Check-In #3)

This past week I have finally been getting back into the groove of things. With that, I finally feel as though I am accomplishing things.


My goals for this round were: 

WIP #1=POS
a) Storyboard, or outline, my novel and figure out what large picture items need to be edited
b) After I finish goal a, I will edit an average of 1000 words a day on this WIP

WIP #2=StM
c) Storyboard StM and get the main points of this novel figured out for draft two

Journal
d) Write 750 words a day in my freewriting journal

Status:

a) done!!

b) in progress.

c) began, about 1/3 way through

d) missed one day, but otherwise up to date

As a goal-oriented person, it's great to see my goals being attained. With that in mind, I want to set some solid goals for this week in the hopes of minimizing distractions and maximizing productivity. 

1. Finish storyboarding StM this week and examine what needs to be done in my revisions.
2. Brainstorm for a short story I've been digging my heels in about writing.
3. Work from home at least one day this week.
4. Turn off the TV from 7-5 at least one day this week.

~I.E.

Soaking Up the Lessons of 2012 (WEverb Day #18)

Wow, I really got behind in #WEverb12. I could attempt to catch up, or I could ramble on about what's been keeping me from the blog, or just answer today's prompt instead...

Every once in awhile, I mentally hit a brick wall. The past week has been like that for me. I've been so inexplicably exhausted mentally, that I have accomplished nothing. But I've given into my desire for avoiding all adult responsibility with the thought that I am preserving my sanity by doing so.

Anyways, back to today's WEverb prompt: 

18. soak [LISTEN]: What have you soaked in this year? (Baths, sun, ideas?) How did it affect your mentality?

I have been actively seeking to be a better writer this year. Well, I would say, for the past couple of years, that's been my ultimate goal.

At the beginning of 2012, I set a lot of goals (read: New Year's Resolutions) for myself, most of which I didn't meet. Some I did okay on, others were out of my control and others I blatantly gave up on or forgot about (such as being more patient with my anxious dog, or giving up soda). 

In hindsight, they were all good goals to have. But throwing them all at myself at once was perhaps not the correct way to go about it. So over this past year, I've realized that I need to set more reasonable goals at more reasonable pace. 

I've been thinking about resolutions for 2013, and I think what I want to do is set one goal per month for the year. The idea is to accomplish one goal a month, adding a second goal for February after accomplishing one in January. At the end of the year, I'll (hopefully) have accomplished 12 goals, one for each month.

I think if I plan this, my goals will be attainable. Although, I'll have to set goals that can be measured as attainable. I.e. no soda for 30 days, or read 6 books this month, or eat a salad for lunch every day for 30 days, only drink Starbucks 3 times a week, etc.

Instead of setting the goal: read more books this year (which has no real measurable content, since I didn't keep track of how many books I read last year), I want to set a goal of reading 60 books next year (5 books a month!).

I am a goal-oriented person, but when I cannot measure a goal, I cannot tell whether I've obtained it, and I lose interest in it. Also, I think I need to give myself some sort of reward when I obtain my goal...I like getting rewarded. So this should be like a day off of everything, or treating myself to something I've been wanting.

2012 has taught me that I need attainable goals, measurable goals, and rewards for meeting those goals.

So with that in mind, onward to 2013!

Creating Triumph out of Hardships (WEverb Day 9)

Photo source.

9. triumph [CREATE]: How were you challenged by a project or goal this year? What did you learn from it?

This year I have been focused mainly on rewriting my work in progress. It's my first "real" novel. I've always written novels (well, since elementary school), but this was the first (and only) one that I have sought publication for. 

Such a goal, I've found, requires an entirely different mindset in writing.

Before, I wrote for my pleasure, for catharsis. Now, I attempt to write for an audience. In the former, I wrote whatever I fancied. In the latter, I must think of plot, character development, word choice, flow, climaxes, resolutions... I can no longer please only myself, but must make the read satisfying to others as well.

So my goal this year was to finish editing my work in progress and seek representation for it.

In working towards this goal, I have been challenged on a daily basis. Every single time I think I am near completion on this novel, I realize how far I am from it. Part of that is the perfectionist in me, wanting a novel to be "perfect" and pleasing in every way, to every reader. But a much larger part of it is that I am still learning. I began my writing journey many years ago, but only got serious a few years ago. I may have some natural talent, but I also realize how much I can improve. There is so much left to learn, I know I will never know it all.

There have been days this year where I cannot bear to look at this novel because I am convinced I have failed in everything I want to accomplish. I have felt like I have too many threads, my characters aren't likable, I don't know my setting well enough, I cannot convey what I intend, I desperately overwrite a scene, I think the reader will miss the point and so I want to give it all away...

Every possible despairing thought about my novel, I think I've had in 2012.

Moments where I have doubted my writing ability and my chance at success, I've had in 2012.

Months where I am convinced no one but my husband will ever want to read it, I've had in 2012.

Days where I want to give up and get a real job, I've had in 2012.

But by sheer determination, stupidity, stubbornness, willfulness, and an itch to write I must scratch, I have plowed on. 

And, although I am not yet finished with my edits, I can see the end in sight. I have found tools to help me on my path, and I have found critique partners who offer valuable feedback.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I soldier on towards it, convinced that my goal is attainable, if only because I refuse to give up.

Coping With the Effects of NaNoWrIMo (Or Life After NaNoWriMo)

Let's face it, NaNoWriMo is a stressful time of the year. 

For most people, 50,000 words in 30 days is a nearly unattainable goal. I'm lucky in that I'm a fast typist, and I have the time to sit down and write when I want/need to. Which resulted in me increasing my goal to a more challenging 80,000 words in 30 days this year.I think every stressful period in life needs to be followed by an opportunity to unwind.

Let's look at some of the symptoms (physical, emotional and behavioral) of stress:

• headaches
• muscle tension
• fatigue
• anxiety
• restlessness
• lack of motivation and/or focus
• procrastination (the art of putting things off until later and/or ignoring the issue)
• evasion (or what I like to call filling up your time with other things to avoid that which is stressing you out)
• overeating or not eating
• doing nothing (e.g. vegging out in front of the T.V.)
• drinking, smoking, other drugs
• withdrawing from activities
• blowing up at others over inconsequential issues

This are just some of the effects that stress can have on your life.

I'll be the first to admit it--I felt the stress. I felt the fear as November 30th closed in and I still had 12,000 words to write in three days. This November's word count was a big goal for me, a personal best. I had to bring my A-game and blow away my previous record.

Although I felt the fear, I also felt inspired. I am a goal-oriented person, and I enjoy setting new personal bests. (When I go running and get a new PR for a 10K, there's nothing more encouraging than that for me.) So when I realized I was going to set a new PR, I became obsessed with "stalking" other NaNo-ers' word counts. *ashamed* But I found a buddy of mine who had written just over 92,000 words, and I became determined to beat them.

Thus, I was awake this year when November turned into December, and the NaNoWriMo website cut off my ability to enter my word count at 12:00:00 a.m., December first. Darn it! 

Regardless, I ended the month with 93,464 words. (It should have been 93,511, NaNo!)

Anyways, back to the stress of NaNo. After I entered my final word count (and tried and failed to update it one final time), I promptly turned off my computer and went to bed. I was exhausted. 30 days of madness can (and does) exhaust you.

So December first, I woke about seven hours later (because I can never, ever sleep in), promptly fired up my computer and stared at my NaNo novel with a blank look.

The pressure was gone. I had no words to write. I had no need to write the words. Where was my reward? Where was the purpose?

I still have a few scenes left to write. I wrote 93,511 words and I'm not done. Granted, some of those scenes will be tossed out on their ear, probably entirely, and a solid novel is at least 80,000 words, but I have several thousand words left to write, and NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY.

Conclusions always get me. I've never been good at ending a story. I want it to continue and want to write more meaningless scenes. But what I have left here on my NaNo novel is my conclusion. My climactic scene of...I DON'T KNOW.

I honestly don't know where to end this novel. I have an idea of what's going to happen, the protagonist will reconcile with her inner demons and outer antagonists, but I've no idea how. And I've no idea how to get to that point.

***

But this post's purpose is getting away from me as I cope with my stress of not knowing what to write by, that's right, procrastinating.

1. My #1 drug of choice for stress is, most definitely, procrastination.

Thus, you could have found me yesterday driving forty-five minutes away to go Christmas shopping, and promptly abandoning that idea when I realized everyone else in the world was also doing their Christmas shopping on the first Sunday in December.

So I reevaluated how I would spend my day, and while completing the final scenes of my NaNo novel was certainly in the back of my mind, I went on to my next coping tactic: evasion.

2. My #2 drug of choice is evasion.

Yes, I returned home...to clean and rearrange my living room.

Huh. Haven't done that in awhile. (So I could, legitimately, make an argument for its necessity...)

Essentially, it boils down to the fact that there was no NaNoing for me yesterday. (Well, I guess it's technically not NaNoing anymore, but simply writing.) I put aside my writing in order to clean house (actually, just one room).

And then, since I was that far into cleaning the house, I decided to catch up on the other tasks which had suffered in November due to NaNo, like the laundry and reading the mail...

***

Now these were just the two tactics I employed yesterday to avoid completing my NaNo novel. Throughout the month of November, the stress of NaNoWriMo attacked me in other ways. I was afflicted with two migraines, I had significant lack of motivation and/or focus (and spent way too much time on the Internet as a result), I procrastinated, I avoided NaNo by doing other things like walking the dogs or watching T.V., and I think I gained about three or four pounds this past month from obvious overeating and lack of exercise.

So now it's December.

And my NaNo novel is not completed, despite 93,464 words.

I think it's time for me to get in gear and apply some of the things I learned during NaNoWriMo 2012.

Namely, there is no time for writer's block.

So my point is this: stress can have its drawbacks, but stress like NaNoWriMo is a good type of stress. If you set a reasonable goal (for you, not for anyone else, keeping your own personal limitations in mind), then the pressure of having a deadline can be beneficial.

I'm at the point with my NaNo novel where I wish I'd set a higher goal for myself in November and pumped out those final scenes. At least then, I'd have something on the page. Now, I'm faced with combating my own inner demons and completing this novel on sheerly my own willpower.

I may have a lot of self-motivation when it comes to writing (because I love it), and I'll be darned if I let this novel get the best of me, but I also know myself. I know that if I leave this novel and start working on another, I'll get too distracted by that novel and think that I'll forget everything I want to do to that novel and put this novel aside for a looong time.

I don't want to place this novel to the side until it's ready to be rested in its entirety. And I can't do that until the final scenes are written, imperfect though they may be.

So no more procrastination. No more evasion.

NaNo 2012 taught me a few things, and it's time I apply those lessons to real life.

Final word count. That's right. Next year, 100,000 words in 30 days. Yikes.

12 Things I Learned During NaNoWriMo 2012

1. NaNo is not about quality, but quantity.

2. There's no time for writer's block.

3. Coffee only gets you so far.

4. Life WILL get in the way.

5. Setting reasonable goals makes progress seem attainable.

6. Turn off the Internet.

7. Do NOT delete a word. (Just strike thorough it, and it'll still be counted when you validate your novel on November 30th.)

8. Prepare ahead of time.

9. Write now, research later.

10. Do NOT allow yourself to go back and edit.

11. Take notes of changes or ideas that occur to you throughout the month. (You will forget them if you don't.)

12. Never, ever, give up. Even if you're 10,000 words behind on November 30th, a 10,000 day can happen!

NaNoWriMo Day #29

Dun dun dun!! 

No, that would not be machine-gun fire, but the sound of victory you hear.

For today, at about noon, I passed the 80K mark. 

That's right, I have completed my goal of pounding out 80,000 words, good or bad, this month. (Mostly bad.)

It's been a long, arduous war filled with at least twenty pots of coffee and probably around 66 hours of typing. The enemy came on strong with everything it could throw at me in November: Thanksgiving, migraines, house guests, sick dogs...

And it's for those reasons that I savor the joys of my victory. It's a powerful feeling to know that you've beaten the demons trying to keep you from your goals. To know that, despite the odds, you can do what you set your mind to. 

It's encouraging to know that I can meet goals which seem daunting. To know that when the tough days come along, I don't give up and surrender to my desire to just climb into bed and sleep until December first.

My NaNo novel may not be a polished draft, and it may never be worth publishing. But I do think there are paragraphs that have promise. Maybe there's just one sentence on one page that is a diamond in the rough. And I'll have to wade through three hundred pages just to find it.

I'm okay with that. Because I know that editing is where you really write a book. That's where threads get untangled, character arcs get properly aligned, gaping plot holes are filled, and sentences are polished.

So I'll be moving on soon from writing to editing. And we'll see if I still feel the same about my NaNo 2012 novel when I emerge from my editing foxhole in the spring.

NaNoWriMo Day #28: Seeking After Perfection

Today took me completely by surprise. So far, I've pumped out 8,570 words. 

Out of these 8,570 words, I'm sure that only about 5% of them will remain when I edit this NaNo novel. But that's not what NaNoWriMo is about. It's about getting the words out, getting them on the page, and not worrying about whether they are perfect, or even passable. 

Quantity, not quality. Definitely not the way I run the rest of my life.

This picture  should say "winner," but I have yet to validate my novel. I'm waiting until the last minute because I have an addiction to updating my word count and like to see it posted on the NaNo site.

The past few scenes of my NaNo novel have been what have pushed me over the "goal" edge towards "above the goal." The characters are continuing to come alive and the scenes are flowing naturally from my fingertips. This means my scenes have gone a lot longer than originally planned, and I have a dozen scenes left to write as I near the end of my 80K goal. (I've always been a long-winded writer, and this novel is no different.)

I can only thank God when my scenes are flowing like this, even if it means I have to cut out multiple scenes when I edit later. And I know that a lot of what I've written will be discarded as imperfect, unwanted material when I enter the editing process.

I've been struck today by just how much easier it is for me to write new scenes than to edit a novel I've already written. To me, the writing process is easy (at least, easier than editing). Just sit down, and type out the words--even if they aren't what you really want the pages to say, you can always fix it later.

It's the "fixing it later" part that I get hung up on. A dozen drafts later, and I still feel it's not perfect. 

Perfection. 

That's what I want. 

And yet, that's what I know I can never, ever obtain. 

No matter how many times I revise, no matter how long I stare at the page, I will always, always want to change something. I will always doubt, I will always correct. 

And there will always be someone else who thinks that my sentence, or metaphor, or entire plot, is less than perfect.

So why do I seek perfection when I know it is unattainable?

NaNoWriMo Days #26 & 27

I'm sad that the end of November is upon us. Well, sad and a little shocked to think of how quickly 2012 has flown by. This year has been a whirlwind of writing, distractions, injuries, broken-down cars and travel for me. I'm looking forward to a calmer 2013 (and hoping that it will, indeed, be calmer).

Anyways, yesterday was one of those hectic days of 2012 that I should be accustomed to by now, but still took me by surprise. I don't know where the day went, but I ended up home at 9:30 p.m., having only written a hurried 1539 words. This was less than half of what I needed to meet my goal for the remaining days of November. 

So I woke up this morning determined to redeem myself. And I did. My new goal was just over 4000 words in order to meet my 80K goal this month. So I cemented my butt in my favorite chair at Starbucks and ignored the headache that was constantly pulsing in my temples and upper neck.

I managed to tap out 4060 words before the pain got the best of me. It wasn't just any headache, but a villian of a headache, better known as a migraine. They always get me at the most inopportune days. (I suppose there aren't any good times to get a migraine, but mine always seem to attack when I need focus the most or are most determined to get things done.)

So I ended up returning home, taking much-needed medication and collapsing into bed for two hours with my cat, Dante Alighieri. Nothing like a cuddle with a cat and lying in bed with a jackhammer splitting open your skull on one of the final days of November to cause you to worry about meeting your NaNo goals.

Luckily, I did make today's goal. If I can write 12,000 more words over the next three days, I can meet my self-imposed NaNo goal. That's only 4000 words a day.

Let's hope I have no more migraines, and my 2013 luck is starting early...

Today's word count: 4,569
Total word count: 68,348

NaNoWriMo Day #15

Yesterday was the halfway mark of NaNoWriMo 2012. 

And after some furious late-night, while-in-bed, typing-on-my-iPad NaNoing, I surpassed the 40K mark. 

*insert cheer here*

That means to "win" NaNo this year, I have only 10K words left to write in the next fifteen days. The highly competitive side of myself rejoices in this, as I will then have "won" both years I've participated. 

However, this 40K mark also means that I've met the halfway mark of my personal, larger goal. And, right on schedule, too. So in order to make my 80K words by November 30th, I must average 2667 words each day. I have scheduled myself a few days off though, so my writing days end up having a goal more like 3500-3600 words.

These are doable chunks for me. I'm accustomed to sitting down for at least an hour, if not two or three at a time and pumping out words or editing a block of what I've written in that time frame.

But for a lot of people, that sounds like a whole lot of words. Which is why my next post will be about the tools I use in Scrivener to get those words written.