IWSG September--Making Time for Writing

Okay, I'm a few days late on this insecure post. I thought I would have time to write this before Wednesday, then Wednesday came and went, and I fell far behind. Which is kind of my insecurity this month. While I'm feeling more confident about my writing these days, feeling like I've gotten the hang of things a bit, the thing I have been struggling with is making time for my writing.

This is an age-old problem, I know. But it seems the more "adult" I get, the less time I have to do what I want. There are always other things battling for my time: laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, writing critiques, relationships, sleep, etc. It seems there are a million excuses I could throw out there to not write. My heart wants to, but there have been some days where I have felt so under the weather with headaches or from lack of sleep lately, that although I've had "time" to write, it feels like I don't have the concentration to accomplish anything. 

As a result, I've had a couple of no-writing days, and that's just bad--no matter how you look at it. 

On the plus side, I am in an online class right now which is on developing a short story from start to finish, so it's at least gotten me thinking of writing and planning and plotting. I try to remind myself on these days of no writing to pick up a book and read a lot, for I know there's much to be learned from reading. But on days with a horrible headache/neck-ache (remnants of a car crash years ago), it's hard to even do that.

So this month I am going to focus on getting back on a schedule which carves out specific time for myself. Perhaps I need to revisit making weekly goals for myself and meeting those goals. Since there has been so much more going on lately, I know that I will have to keep my goals simple, but if I have goals, I will be motivated meet them and more motivated to get work done. 

So here's to a productive September! 

There Is Always Someone Better Than You (August IWSG)

I am never the best.

This isn't a new lesson. It's an old one. Quite old. Ancient, perhaps. There will always, always be someone better than you. Even if you're the world champion in the Track and Field 400m dash, there will always be someone to challenge you. More so, there may be someone who is better than you at the 200m, or the 100. Switch sports, and you may lose all your advantage. You are then no one special. I find this humbling. And rightfully so.

I think writers must be competitive at heart, or else it's too easy to give up and let go of your writing dreams. Even so, when you find yourself pitted against a near-equal, or someone who is obviously better than you, or even someone that you don't perceive as better than you yet beats you in a competition, jealousy is the natural emotion. 

I don't like to think of myself as a jealous person. I don't like to give in to envy. But is some of it useful? Does that envy teach me a lesson? Absolutely.

Writing is a subjective art. Just like painting, what one person considers a masterpiece, another considers a waste of space. In writing, what one person loves, another may hate.

I find that I am an atypical reader. I don't like commercial fiction very much. I prefer slower paced literary novels. In fact, I cannot remember the last best seller that I read and enjoyed like the masses (Hunger Games, maybe? Although I thought that could have been done better). Am I too critical? Maybe. But I like to think it's because I know what I like, and only a few people deliver that. I not only want a great plot, but above average (okay, excellent) writing and grammar. I want good structure and surprising plot twists, lovable characters and surprising depth. I want it all. If it doesn't check all the boxes, then I'm not a satisfied reader. But I'm like one of those first-time home buyers who goes in with a list a mile long, expecting not to compromise. And I won't compromise, darn it! 

So why should I compromise in my own writing? I am also one of those writers stuck in perpetual edits. It is never, ever good enough. I'm not a perfectionist in everything, but I am with writing. Because why, oh why?, would I put anything less than my best work out there? The only problem is that I am constantly learning and improving. It's almost like the newest iPhone (to use yet another metaphor). As soon as I finish one edit of a WIP, I know exactly how I could improve it--because the last edit taught me so much about writing, I can see new errors in old work. (You know, like as soon as you buy the new iPhone, the newer one comes out, showing you all the things you didn't know you needed?)

Yeah. That's me. So I guess I need to get okay with the fact that there will always be a book better than mine out there. There will always be readers that prefer someone else's writing over mine. There will always be improvements that I wish I could make to my novel. There will always, always, be someone better. That's not their fault. It's mine. Not only do I need to keep striving and keep writing, but I need to accept something as finished, even when I still think it's not "perfect." 

IWSG July: What Do Others Think of My Writing?

Today's post is for the Insecure Writers' Support Group. Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog for more information.

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The more I consider my insecurities, the more I am convinced they all stem from being concerned with what others think of me. (Isn't that what an insecurity is anyways?)

As an introvert, I rarely confide in others about personal things. Writing, as most of us writers know, is probably as personal as one could get. As a writer we fear what others think of us and our writing.

Like most people, I want to be admired (well, maybe "admired" is too strong a word, but at least have my craft appreciated). Because my writing matters greatly to me, I approach it with a greater desire to have my writing admired than any of my other talents.

Of course, this comes with a myriad of challenges. I feel apprehensive about sharing my writing because I'm too worried about what other people will think of it. It's not because I think I'm not good enough. Although there's much I have left to learn, I know I'm better than some writers out there, and worse than others. No, I'm fearful of how it might change a friend's perception of me. 

Some of my friends know that I write. Others don't. Most of my friends haven't read a word I've written. Many strangers have.

Is this wrong? Should I be concerned with what others think? Should I ignore their thoughts of me?

To some extent, I think fear of others' opinions is a good thing. It keeps me from being rude or from acting callously. It makes me strive to become a better writer. But it can easily become crippling. If I gave in to this fear, I would never share my writing with anyone. If I become too afraid to share my writing, then what do I gain from my writing? 

I love writing, and I do it without the expectation of getting paid. Yes, that would be great if I were, and that's my current goal, but right now I'm focused on honing my craft. Because I'm a perfectionist, I want to make sure that when I do get published, I won't be absolutely horrified by my first novel. I think a little bit of time spent honing my craft now and gaining confidence through critique groups will pay off in obvious ways for the future.

How about you, fellow writers? What's your insecurity this month?

~I.E. 

ISWG: Trying To Do Too Much (Or Weaving Too Many Threads in Your Novel)

When I posed my last chapter to my critique group, I really wasn't quite sure how it would be reviewed. I was pleased to receive mostly good comments on it, but then a recurring comment occurred: the scene did a lot--possibly too much.

I know this novel I'm working on has a lot of threads (i.e. subplots). So many so that I have deliberately removed some threads that are less important to the story I want to tell. But it's led me to an interesting line of thought, and that is: how many threads are too many?

Say the chapter is 3000 words, one setting, essentially one long scene or two medium-sized scenes. Does tackling three or four subplots in that chapter constitute as "too many threads?" I don't know if there's a right answer here, but it's something that I've been thinking about. The last thing I want to do is pull my reader in too many directions at once, and I've been working on having all my scenes pull double-duty. I don't want a scene in my novel to only do one thing--even if I love the way it's written, every scene must do at least two things or it ends up on the cutting table. 

So, a part of me was thinking (before receiving feedback), that I was really making these scenes work and I was kicking butt in making my scenes do double-, triple-, even quadruple-duty. Then the comments came back, and although they weren't negative in the sense that it was too difficult to follow or even that my scene was divided, they made me consider: where is the point when a scene tries to do too much?

Now I find myself reconsidering each scene, wondering if it's not doing enough or if it's doing too much. I certainly don't want my reader overwhelmed, but I also don't want them underwhelmed. In some ways, I feel overwhelming them is better than underwhelming them, but then again... It seems that this may be one of those things that requires a delicate balance best determined by experience.


~I.E.