Since today is the third day of the blogging A to Z challenge, but it also happens to be the first Wednesday of the month, which is the Insecure Writer's Support Group day, I decided to combine these two and post about my insecurity: lack of confidence.
I've been part of a writing forum for about six months now, and it has its ups and downs. Most recently, I've been quite down about it. This has arisen from one feedback I've given which gave me a proverbial slap in the face by suggesting that my personal beliefs had no bearing in the feedback I was giving. In other words, my personal beliefs should have nothing to do with how a particular scene comes across to me. In all honesty, I find that to be quite wrong.
Every reader brings their personal beliefs, backgrounds and experiences to a novel. I believe that a book is more personal than a movie. A reader spends more time on a book than a movie, and if the situations or the morals in that book or movie clash directly with the reader's morals, most likely there will be some dissatisfaction. Some readers are able to attribute the actions to an unlikable protagonist and read the book without agreeing with what happens, but there's a trick to that, which is not my point in this post. (E.g. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which has an unlikable narrator.)
Dissatisfaction with a story can occur if a conservative or liberal reader reads a book which goes directly against their morals. A reader may put those books down if bothered enough by them, and a writer may have lost a reader. No author is for everyone. An author I adore, another reader may hate. As long as a reader can give a reason for their likes or dislikes, it's not wrong to love or hate a book. That's the joy of having so many books to explore.
But this incident has severely shaken my confidence and given me a huge insecurity in offering my feedback. Almost to the point where I don't want to give it at all. If my personal views are irrelevant to my feedback, then what am I left with giving? Merely grammatical edits? Is that all I am allowed to say? For my personal beliefs, interests and past experiences undoubtedly influence how I see a character, how I feel about them, and whether I believe them to be realistic characters. In fact, my personal beliefs, interests and past experiences are what makes up me.
So I'm left with a difficult situation in giving feedback. And that is: How can I divorce myself from my opinion? If I knew someone like this "unlikable" character in the past, I won't like this character unless there is change. If the author asks for feedback on whether their character is likable and I see them as particularly unlikable for their beliefs, their actions or their personality, what can I say? Do I just not say anything at all?
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~I.E.
Judging by your last paragraph, if the question was do you like this character, then your answer is bound to be based on personal beliefs and opinion. If the question was, does this read well, then you could maybe put aside your beliefs. Perhaps sometimes you could just say nothing?
ReplyDeleteAnnalisa Crawford, One of April's IWSG Co-Hosts
Annalisa,
DeleteIn this particular circumstance, it was a mix of whether the character was likable and whether the scene was believable. Neither of which I could answer in the affirmative. But you're absolutely right, in that sometimes, it's best to not say anything at all. And this experience has taught me that, for sure! Thanks for your input. :-)
Ingrid
I once stayed with a writer's group for 7 years because I thought I was nothing without them. Don't make the same mistake. If you're not happy with the relationship, maybe it's time to move on. Find a group with like-minded writers. People willing to listen and to share. No, you don't want your hand held, but you want critiques that help, not hinder. And you want others to appreciate your input. They don't have to agree, but they don't need to get all bent out of shape either.
ReplyDeleteJoylene,
DeleteYou bring up a great point, and that's certainly something that has been in the back of my mind. I think I am afraid to start all over in a new group, having established myself in this one. But it's so reassuring to hear of a "similar" experience from you.
I appreciate your input, and I will definitely consider your experience as I evaluate whether to stick it out or say good-bye to this group. You're absolutely right that I want my input appreciated, and I know others want the same. Perhaps I'll have to move on to another group someday soon. Know any that are looking? ;-)
Ingrid
I feel your pain. And I agree that there has to be a great deal of trust in a writing group - if it's not somewhere everyone feels comfortable then surely little constructive learning can happen? One of the reasons I tend to avoid writers' groups, to be honest.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the blog challenge.
Thanks, Emmyleigh. It is hard to trust a writing group enough to share, and yet I do find that there is reward in being validated in such a group. Perhaps I just haven't found quite the right one yet!
DeleteI hope you'll give a writing group a chance at some point, as there is so much to learn from everyone, and despite the ups and downs, I'm grateful that I'm a part of one.
Good luck to you, as well!
I totally understand how you are feeling and how it might be hard to open back to give your opinion. I think there are two sides to this; first, if you are asking someone's opinion you have to take what they say weather you like it or not. It's their opinion and that's it. You may disregarded in your head but never to the person. It's not her/his fault that you don't share the point of view.
ReplyDeleteNow, as a writer in a critic group, you expect comments about the technical aspects of the book much more heavily than those based on the reactions as a reader. Maybe it was there where you can go with your group. Give your opinion as a connoisseur of the technic involved in writing a book. There's much more than grammar to it, like plot, character development, pace, you know. It leaves you a lot to give and still not open too much of yourself.
Hope you find your groove again.
Thanks Georgina, for your input. You're absolutely right. There are always two sides to a situation, and you're not always going to agree with everyone who comments on your piece. I've heard it said that you write for one person, and worry about making just that one person happy. (Of course, it's helpful to have others' input as well!)
DeleteLikewise, you're correct that technical comments are much more welcome and expected in a writing critique group than overall/general comments. I do tend to think there's a great deal of value in overall impressions though.
However, in light of this experience, I've drastically stepped back in giving overall impressions and stuck to more grammatical comments. Your reminder of plot, character development, and pace is a good one, which I will certainly keep reminding myself of as I give feedback.
Thanks for stopping by!