It's happened.
Life has, officially, gotten in the way of my writing.
I'm surprised it took so long, really. But, all in all, I'm still on track for my goals, and I'm above the NaNo goal word count (WC) of 20,004. In fact, I've exceeded it by 10K right now (my current WC is 31,259).
Still, I've set a higher goal for myself, and that would be writing 80K this month.
Last year when I competed in NaNoWriMo 2011, it was my first year, and I "won" by completing an entire novel in 30 days, which ended up being around 75K.
So, because I'm a goal-oriented person, and I like obliterating my personal bests, I decided to best last year's WC by 5,000 words.
Thus, my unofficial goal this year is 80K. Which means I should be at 32,000 words today.
And I'm not. I'm 750 short.
That's not bad, considering. It's an amount I could easily make up tomorrow, or the day after. But...if I were to fail on my goal because of a measly 750 words, I'd be awfully upset.
Not to mention that I know this month is only going to get busier. With family having arrived in town yesterday and not leaving until Sunday, then more family and friends arriving on Tuesday next week, and then Thanksgiving... The next couple of weeks will be even more hectic than these past 12 days have been.
However, one good thing that has come from my not being at a computer is that I have been thinking an awful lot about where I want to go with this novel's plot, and what events I want to set up with this character.
What I've come away with are a couple of plot twists that I think will be good for the state of my NaNo novel.
I'm really not an outliner, but I always write better when I have a vague idea of what may happen in fifty pages. I definitely don't need to know what happens on the next page, or what my next sentence needs to say until I write it, but I do write better when I have a very general idea of where my novel is going. Is she going to meet a boy? Will she find a dead body?
Really, all I need to know is a final destination, what I'm writing to, and then I can connect the dots. And I come up with these dots by thinking on my non-writing days like yesterday and today.
I've realized those non-writing (or non-editing) days are vital to my writing (or editing) goals. But this a fact which I often lose sight of. I get tunnel vision when I get deeply into writing or editing a novel and work on the novel every single day--to the exclusion of all else. What I find happening is a lack of focus, getting too close to the plot and the characters and the twists I try to throw in, to even consider that they may not be working.
Yet I struggle with my non-writing days because I feel guilty for not writing. I love to write, and I'm serious about it, so when there are days that I can't write or I don't get the time to write, I feel quite guilty. So I'm slowly starting to realize that non-writing days have value of their own. Those non-writing days can expedite what I accomplish on my writing days, because I get the opportunity to think about what I'll write the next day.
So I'm going to try not to feel guilty on the days I cannot write--not to excuse myself--but to place greater value on my thoughts.
Ten days in already. Time definitely flies when there's an agenda.
In fact, life has a way of getting in the way when there's an agenda.
Really, my laziness is my own worst enemy. I'd much rather veg out and not think when I feel overwhelmed by things, and this novel has had a way of overwhelming me.
Thankfully, there's a Starbucks nearby, and when I go to Starbucks, I get things done.
I'm sure others have similar problems: while at home, no work can be done, but if you go out to a coffee shop or park, you can accomplish great things.
Starbucks is my main work place. I've spent many hours there editing and writing, and observing people.
Oh, and drinking coffee. We can't forget the coffee during NaNoWriMo.
Day 10 Word count: 29,002
Day 10 Goal: 16,670
If I weren't doing NaNo right now, I probably would never have written this novel.
It's not that I wouldn't be writing right now, it's just that I would be editing my previous works, preventing myself from committing to anything new.
Instead, I have passed the official half-way mark of 25K words. *insert cheer here*
What I've learned so far:
It's amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it.
It's refreshing to not worry about grammar or content or if this scene works or if this character is well-developed enough to write yet, but just to get the words out.
It'll be a rough first draft because of not worrying about the above, but it will have promise. Even if I hate 99% of it, there might be one sentence that stands out, one moment in time where my muse visited me and gave me the right words at the right time.
It's all of this which I write for. Those moments, those words.
Oh what a painful day.
This was one of those days where every word seemed difficult to get on the page. On such days, I find myself all too often "telling" instead of "showing." For instance, instead of showing a scene that builds character or introduces a character, or is otherwise plot-advancing and informative, I'll recap the scene and move quickly on to the next.
It's almost like the "recapping" is my daily writing warm-up, and then I get in to telling the actual story, even though the "recapped" scene is necessary or beneficial to the plot.
The problem is, that on these days, I find myself repeatedly lapsing into those telling habits, and when I look back at my day's work, I realize that such telling sections appear most frequently at a scene beginning.
I suppose there's a silver lining in this: when I go back to revise after my NaNoWriMo novel is complete, I have several areas that I can expound on. Also, if I get stuck on one of these next 22 days (which is highly likely considering the state of my plot), I won't have wasted days, as I can return to these scenes and expand them.
In the meantime, I'll continue to cement my bum to my chair and glue my fingers to the keyboard as I plug away towards 50K.
What have I learned from a week of writing dangerously?
1. My novel's not all bad.
Yesterday I reread a few scenes I'd written since NaNo began, and actually found myself amused by them. I was encouraged by this feeling, and it buoyed my spirits for continuing on my NaNo journey.
Regardless of those warm fuzzies, I've stalled today--but not quit running. Still, I've only made half my word goal. I am a few days ahead in word count, so I'm not too worried about words.
2. However interesting those opening scenes were, the state of my plot does concern me.
18K words in, and my plot is struggling for breath. I know I need to dream up some complications, but part of my problem in doing so comes from not really knowing where I want to take these characters, and from still developing my characters and plot in my mind.
It comes down to this: I'm not sure where this novel is going. I have a few loose ideas, but nothing I'm fully committed to yet, and I'm a little afraid to commit to any one direction at this point.
I say I'm a pantser writer, but I at least like to know who my characters are before I begin. This year I failed to write character bios and histories for any of them. I'm really starting to wince as I get further into my novel and feel the time crunch. I don't have the chance to stop and write those bios now. (Note for next year: write character bios and backstory--no matter what!)
3. There's absolutely no time for writer's block.
That's the great thing about NaNoWriMo. I just have to power through the writer's block and find out what lies ahead on the path, what's inside the pretty little package I've begun unwrapping.
So I keep sitting down before my laptop and typing away, pretending like I know where I'm going with this novel, when in reality, the little I know about it is starting to scare me.
What if it's not a genre I want to write? What if I aim for one audience and it's actually aimed at another? What if I do it all wrong? What if there's absolutely nothing special and unique about this novel? What do I do when I get to the end of my 50K and think it's all worthless?
Those are the questions that try to keep me up at night. But the answers are why there's a delete key.
No time for questions. Just write.
I love the beginning of a novel.
It holds such promise, such unexpected blessings. It's like a Christmas present, all wrapped and sitting under the tree. Carefully, I give the box a shake, trying to figure out what might be inside. This is what I do to my novel the week before NaNo (or for the entire month of October, if I'm organized and have my present wrapped ahead of time).
When November arrives, I get to unwrap my present in many, painstaking stages.
November first, I get to remove the bow. I set it aside, the present's adornment quickly forgotten as I focus on what might be inside.
Then, I peel off the ribbons--deliberately, tentatively--unsure of whether it might fray or dissipate under my eager, grasping fingers.
But when the ribbons come off in one piece, I toss them with the bow, where they'll wait. I can see them hoping they might come in handy, as if thinking I might want to rewrap the present after I open it, to once again adorn the present inside.
Then I turn my attention to the tape. I'm a notorious taper, and cement my presents in its sticky residue. So I take my time with this, peeling off tape carefully and trying not to rip the paper. I also like to reuse my paper--especially if it's pretty or distinctive.
When I get the paper off, I fold it along the creases--I don't want to get it too raggedy for the next use. I might have a box sometime which this piece of paper will just fit, so I want it to be in good shape for the next time.
Now, I have a brown box in front of me. Another piece of tape, carefully slit so that it doesn't tear. The tension in my heart is building. Pounding, my mouth goes slightly dry with anticipation. Here it is--all I have to do is open the box.
I feel as though I've already hit my NaNo wall, and I'm not sure why.
Yesterday I was feeling oddly thrilled with where this novel was going, how the voice of my main character had come out, and the conflicts that had already occurred. Things were smooth sailing.
Then today.
I had a busy morning so I didn't have any time to write, but even when I did have moments, I didn't have the words.
Instead, I found myself thinking about what I might write, about where I might want to take this story, how I might want to get to the end. Indeed, if I even knew what the end was. But for all the thinking I've done today, I still don't have many answers.
I must confess: I'm disappointed with what I've accomplished today. Although I've written my goal word count, I don't feel like it advances the plot (if I even know what it is yet), and if these scenes stay in this novel in any way, they'll probably require being moved to a much later point in the story.
But they're written. I haven't let writer's block prevent me from putting words on the page, and that's the most important thing.
That's what NaNoWriMo is all about: getting the words out.
So they're coming out. Some days are just slower than others, in both plot and word count.
Word count to date: 12,016
Word goal to date: 8335
