Five Rules for Using Pronouns in Fiction Writing (Part II of II)

A few weeks ago, I threw out some reasons for and against using pronouns in fiction. This week, I'd like to explain a bit about how these are pros and cons.

If you'll recall, there are five reasons I came up with to use or not use pronouns in fiction writing. This post will discuss them in a bit more detail (although there are links for each pro and con in last week's post).

1. Don't confuse the antecedent.

Typically, "he" or "she" refers to the person last mentioned.

Joni gulped from her cup. She lowered it and stared at Kim.

"Her" and "she" both refer to Joni.

If we rewrite the sentence to say:

Joni and Kim sipped their drinks. She put it down.

Then we get confusion. Who is "she?" Is it Joni? Kim? Neither? In a situation like this, reuse their name. Or, preferably, rephrase the sentence(s) to clarify.

2. Don't overuse "I" in first person POV.

In first person point-of-view, the page can be a minefield of "I." Not only does it make the book seem unreasonably self-centered on the protagonist, it can be distracting from even the best plot.

Consider the example below, taken from one of my recent WIPs, which I've referred to throughout my blog as "StM."

In retrospect, I was lucky I'd held on to my phone so I could dig out Mother's address from the depths of my contacts list. I hoped, as I begged directions from a stranger on the street, that she'd not moved in the two years since I'd seen her.

This is a rough draft of a scene where my main character is lost in London and has just been pick-pocketed. She's finally decided to seek out her estranged mother. But while the focus is on the main character, it could be written better. 

A revision trying to minimize "I":

In retrospect, holding onto my phone was a lucky break. In the dusty layers of my contact list lay Mother's phone and address. After accosting a stranger on the street for directions, I headed north, hoping Mother hadn't moved in the past two years.

This shows how many "I's" you can eliminate if you try. I got it down from six to one.

3. Make sure you know how to use pronouns correctly.

This is one of those cons which can be corrected by grammar lessons.

Remember: the pronoun should agree in number and person with its antecedent noun, as well as clearly refer to the prior noun(s).

E.g.

Incorrect:
She grabbed the violin off the stand and raised them to her shoulder.

Correct:
She grabbed the violin and bow off the stand and raised them to her shoulder.

Or:
She grabbed the violin off the stand and raised it to her shoulder.


E.g.
Correct:
The airlines had assigned Adrienne a middle seat—in cattle class. Which meant she was directly in the center of the aircraft, smashed between a generously proportioned woman who seemed to have poured a perfume bottle all over herself before the flight, and two boisterous talkers on Adrienne's left—one of whom was a middle-aged, lecherous flirt with a propensity for airsickness.

The Adrienne's is not "her" because it would create ambiguity to use "her."

Incorrect:
The airlines had assigned Adrienne a middle seat—in cattle class. Which meant she was directly in the center of the aircraft, smashed between a generously proportioned woman who seemed to have poured a perfume bottle all over herself before the flight, and two boisterous talkers on her left—one of whom was a middle-aged, lecherous flirt with a propensity for airsickness.

Whose left am I talking about in the incorrect version? Adrienne's or the woman with perfume?

I'm not even going to get into the grammar lesson aspect of this, but here are some great websites if you are confused about pronouns.

Grammar: Proper Pronoun Usage 101

Grammar Girl: Generic Singular Pronouns

Grammar Girl: Pronouns and Antecedents

Grammar Girl: How to Use "Myself" and Other Reflexive Pronouns
Purdue Owl: Pronouns, Using Pronouns Clearly
Purdue Owl: Using Appropriate Pronouns, Appropriate Pronoun Usage

Pros

Intimacy:

Only reflexive pronouns used--

The airlines had assigned Adrienne Talbot a middle seat—in cattle class. Which meant Adrienne was directly in the center of the aircraft, smashed between a generously proportioned woman who seemed to have poured a perfume bottle all over herself before the flight, and two boisterous talkers on Adrienne's left—one of whom was a middle-aged, lecherous flirt with a propensity for airsickness.

Sighing, Adrienne strapped herself into Adrienne's own personal ninth circle of Hell and winced at the screech of an infant behind Adrienne. Adrienne leaned Adrienne's head against the leather headrest, feeling the press of the woman next to Adrienne and the lech's broad shoulders on Adrienne's other side, reducing Adrienne's seat to the size of a postage stamp. These types of plane rides were the worst for people like Adrienne, who had personal bubbles the size of Alaska.

Yikes! Does anyone else's blood pressure rise at the second paragraph? Every repetition of her name grates on my nerves--I don't even want to repeat it here! Let's check out the example using pronouns properly.

Using pronouns--

The airlines had assigned Adrienne Talbot a middle seat—in cattle class. Which meant she was directly in the center of the aircraft, smashed between a generously proportioned woman who seemed to have poured a perfume bottle all over herself before the flight, and two boisterous talkers on Adrienne's left—one of whom was a middle-aged, lecherous flirt with a propensity for airsickness. 

Sighing, Adrienne strapped herself into her own personal ninth circle of Hell and winced at the screech of an infant behind her. She leaned her head against the leather headrest, feeling the press of the woman next to her and the lech's broad shoulders on her other side, reducing Adrienne's seat to the size of a postage stamp. These types of plane rides were the worst for people like her, who had personal bubbles the size of Alaska.

Aids suspension of disbelief:

According to Dictionary.com, the suspension of disbelief is: "a willingness to suspend one's critical faculties and believe the unbelievable; sacrifice of realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment." Similar to intimacy, when proper nouns are used repetitively in a passage, the reader is distracted from the story and removed from it. Like "said," "he," and "she" are nearly invisible. The reader's eye skims over them, and they can often be omitted from the story entirely. This is why the current fiction trend is to replace a tag (he/she said) with an action (E.g. "I've been waiting for this." He slid his finger under the flap of the envelope.)

The Verdict:

Pronouns go a long ways in creating intimacy between reader and protagonist. However, the danger is in creating ambiguity in the antecedent. 


~I.E.

I hope this has helped explain why pronouns are the better choice. If you've found this useful, please give it a share!

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When to Use Pronouns in Writing Fiction, Part I

Pronouns in fiction are some of those "invisible" words that can create a lot of problems if not used correctly.

A lot of beginning writers seem uncertain when to use pronouns, and use them prolifically or rarely.  Before my overuse of proper nouns was pointed out to me, I'd never considered this subject. I didn't think I littered my manuscripts with unnecessary tags or names, and I tried to vary my sentences as much as I can, reducing such references to names.

However, since this had come up a couple of times, I decided it was time that I research the subject.

Here's some of the reasons I've dug up for and against using pronouns.

Pros:
Creates intimacy with the reader (link here)
Aids suspension of Disbelief (link here)

Cons:
Can create confusion concerning the antecedent (link here)
In first person POV (point of view), "I" can litter the page and distracting (link here)
Incorrect usage of pronouns (link here)

Since being told about this nasty little habit of mine, I've worked hard to eliminate as many proper nouns as I can. The pronoun, after all, is nearly invisible. As a writer, I want my reader's eyes to fly over the pages, devouring my text, not constantly stutter over my MC's name. 

Next week we'll go more in depth on the reasons to use pronouns. 

~I.E.

What do you think? Are there other pros and cons for using or not using pronouns? Feel free to share in the comments section!

How to Use Feedback Properly

While on a jog the other day, a biker passed me. Per the trail's rules, he called out, "On your left." But then he followed up with: "You've got a good pace." 

I'm not even sure if this second comment was directed at me, but I heard it as if it was. And instead of buoying me and making me run stronger, I spent the next five minutes of my jog mentally deconstructing my pace and trying to figure out if it was, indeed, a good pace.

This deconstruction of my pace and the ensuing distraction from my run led me to consider the following:

Feedback can be the best thing for your writing, and feedback can be the worst thing for your writing.

So in light of that epiphany, I came up with five ways to properly accept feedback.

1. Ask for feedback only when you are ready to hear it.

There have been times when a writing compliment has taken me by surprise. Sometimes, it has been exactly what I needed to drag me out of the Pit of Despair. Yet, there have also been times when a compliment has distracted me from my writing by giving me a "free pass" for ignoring a part of my writing that I have "right."

If I send a chapter I'm proud of to my critique group and it comes back with red ink all over it, I often find myself demoralized. Here's this chapter I thought was ready to go and looking good, and people tell me they can't understand the sentences I wrote? They must be wrong! No, instead I've realized that I am not ready to read feedback offered to me until I've checked my pride at the door. Sometimes it takes me awhile to look at comments after I've received them.

On the flip side, sometimes I send out a chapter which I'm insecure and uncertain about. Usually I do this when I don't know where else to go with the scene, sometimes because I've run out of time. But almost invariably, when I examine the feedback offered, I am encouraged and more accepting of the scene's faults.

2. Value good feedback.

Proper feedback requires that you check your pride and accept there may be something wrong with your work. If you think you're the sliced bread of the written word, you aren't going to listen to how you can improve the dough recipe or your slicing technique. You have to accept that something could be significantly wrong with your peice--and you have to be willing to make the changes.

If you ask for feedback with the attitude that your scene needs hardly any work, and that you know better than the other writers (or readers) examining your work, then chances are you won't be accepting the true value of the feedback offered to you.

3. Recognize poor feedback.

Undoubtedly, once you start asking for feedback, you will receive some comments that are invalid or inappropriate for your work (sometimes just plain incorrect). Because you are the author, you are the only one to know where you are going. You have the responsibility, as the author, to recognize the value or lack of value of the feedback you have received. A lot of this comes from experience, and from knowing what is true to your characters and your plot. While you must keep that in mind, you also must keep in mind that if one or two comments/questions pop up from each reader, you have an issue that probably needs to be addressed.

4. Give feedback. 

This may seem like an odd suggestion, but you learn a lot by picking apart your critique group's writing (in a constructive way, of course). Being able to recognize grammatical mistakes in another's writing is the first step in being able to see it in yours. This is true for other types of writing mistakes: plot holes, lack of characterization, overuse of certain words, etc. Some people like to dive into a new skill without a lesson, but those that study hard and build a foundation attain a higher level of skill faster. Giving feedback to other aspiring writers builds your writing foundation as you actively apply what you learn about writing.

5.  Read prolifically.

Reading has a direct effect on your writing. Next time you reread a favorite book, pay attention to more than your enjoyment of it. Why does it work so well? What are the turning points of the characters? How are the characters developed? How well does the language flow? What could that author have done better? If you were the author, how would you write the novel? 

Similar to giving feedback, it is easier to see faults in another's work, but when you read a published work, you are reading something that worked for at least one other person (if traditionally published). And if you never reread books, know that even bad books have something to teach you (usually bad books can teach you more). 

Allow yourself to be taught, and you will be surprised by how much you learn.

~I.E.

Linking Your Novel Together

As we wind down on Week 2 of the A to Z blogger's challenge, I find myself struggling through a severe head cold and trying to string two coherent sentences together. So for my "L," I came up with "links."

A well-written novel must be linked. And what do I mean by links? 

Well, if you think about the link of a chain, each one connects with two other links, one before and one after. The only two links which do not connect to two others are the beginning and end. But each link is soldered together to make running your hand over it smooth. 

For a novel, this means each scene is a link. And your entire story should be linked together so that it reads smoothly. It should have a beginning, a middle, and an end, all of which seamlessly flow into the other.

Each link serves its purpose to string the plot from beginning to end. No scene should be so abrupt that it causes the reader's attention to snag. Each scene should naturally follow the prior one. In other words, each scene needs to build on the information, characters, plot, themes of the one before. If a scene doesn't advance one or all of these, it might need to be revised or eliminated completely.

Each scene should: 

1. Establish when (time);
2. Establish where (setting);
3. Establish who (character or point-of-view);
4. Advance why we're reading (the plot);
5. Make it clear what the character(s) want;
6. Have conflict;
7. Start as late as possible in the action;
8. End as early as possible (think cliffhanger);
9. Transition us from the prior scene;
10. Transition us into the next scene.

A successful novel is one where the reader eagerly grabs a hold of the chain and, link-by-link, works his way from the beginning to the end. He isn't snagged at any one link, he doesn't stumble or want to put the book down. It's a difficult thing to do, but it's what every writer should aim for in their novel. (It's almost as difficult as making this metaphor work.)

~I.E.

Knots

Life is full of knots. Those kinks in the rope of life which interfere with your goals. Every time the rope begins to run quickly through your hands, your fingers catch on a knot. Each knot is a different size, a unique challenge. Some force you to unknot them before you can continue, while some are mere snags in the rope.

In the same way, literature is full of knots. Or, it should be. Every time a character's life seems to be going well, every time the character is getting what she wants, she should have her rope knotted. The knots should be varied in size, big, small, in-between. Some should require stopping, or turning back, while others should be more easily overcome.

There are a million different types of knots to throw at your characters--sailor knots, decorative knots, climbing knots, etc.--and each has their own level of complexity. It's up to the author to determine how complex a character's knot should be. In a novel, they should not only be varied in size, but unevenly spaced.

When a novel's storyline is successfully scattered with knots, it is full of twists, turns and cliff-hangers. Knots are what keep the reader reading. Knots are what show the reader the real character.

And because my current knot is in the form of a head cold, complete with a migraine, that's all for today.

I leave you with some pictures of cool knots and links for how to make them.

Source Animated Knots by Grog shows you how to complete these knots.

Source

Source: Animated Knots by Grog

~I.E.

Dusting Off That Old Manuscript (Or Revising Your NaNoWriMo Novel)

It's been nearly three full months since NaNoWriMo 2012. 

Which means, it's past time for me to start editing this novel, which I'll dub "WIP 2012" for the moment.


So that brings me to a question:  When do YOU edit your NaNo Novel?

My NaNo (and writing) philosophy is to keep writing and edit little on the first pass during November. If I do have a hard time getting started one day, I will go edit the prior scene, or return to another scene which I wanted to change anyways. That way, my Muse gets awakened, and the editing acts as my warm-up.

However, now, my first draft is completed, and I've been ruminating on it since the beginning of December.

By my estimates, it's past time for me to get working on edits. 

My biggest challenge will be in using this first edit to attack the main storyline of this novel, and ignore the grammatical errors. I have a horrible propensity towards constant line-editing.


My goals for my first edit:

1. Are there any any inconsistencies? Including those in setting/description, story threads and characters from page one to "the end."


2. What is my overarching goal of telling this story? Determine what it is and make sure it's smooth from beginning to end.

3. Does every scene have conflict? Is it left unresolved until later? Or do I resolve it too soon?

4. Does every scene have a purpose? Does it advance the plot?

5. How is my story different from every other one out there?

NaNo Challenges:
Because this is a NaNoWriMo novel, and NaNoWriMo clearly has an emphasis on quantity over quality, WIP 2012 is in especially rough shape. There was little that I cut during the month of November in order to have the most words possible at the end of thirty days. However, this should make it even easier to recognize what is filler and what isn't.

Goals:
1. Cut all the filler. 
2. Focus the plot.
3. Make every word count.

I hope to, by the end of April 2013, have a second draft ready for consumption by some beta readers. 

NaNoWriMo Day #19: Backup Your Files

I think this is a good day to remind NaNo novel writers to back up their files if they haven't already done so.

Typically, I'm very punctual about backing up my computer. I'm paranoid about losing files, and schedule a backup at least once a week, more if I've put in a lot of work that week.


But as life gets busy, my fingers are busy typing my NaNo novel, and my mind dreaming up new conflicts for my MC, my computer backups have dwindled to almost zero. 

I own an external hard drive for the sole purpose of backing up my files. Over the years, I have lost too many files to risk losing them again. And when you lose a novel...it's like you've lost a part of your body, your soul. A part that there's no getting back again. Ever. 


I've been writing this novel for 19 days now. This is a novel I couldn't replicate if I tried. When you put a lot out on the page in a short amount of time, it all blurs together, and it's hard to remember the majority of it. Even if I could remember it verbatim, I've been typing this for 19 days. I'd like to not have to use another 19 days to re-accomplish what I've already done.

So don't learn the hard way. Get an external hard drive and back up your computer. It's well worth the investment (and they're affordable). And once you get the external hard drive, use it.

Voice in Writing

Photo credit: mrehan

Voice is something that I rarely think about when writing. And, to some extent, I think that is okay. For voice is not something that can be forced, but is something that is naturally developed over time. Of course, I speak of writing fiction, where a voice can be anything you want it to be.

When I say "voice", I mean the myriad of personality, tone and story which is conveyed through your writing. If non-fiction, you'd probably want something matter-of-fact, informational. Fiction, however, is full of opportunity to develop voice to its fullest extent. Voice is what makes a reader come back to the same author over and over again. Voice draws the reader in and helps make a connection between character, reader and author.

So how do you find your voice?

Voice can vary from one piece to the next. The voice of a character may overshadow the voice of the author in fiction. In some cases, it should (think of close first person narrative, Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games). In others, it may not (think third person omniscient, Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities). However, there is always a voice in piece of writing. If The Hunger Games were written in third person omniscient, it would have an entirely different voice, even if still written by Suzanne Collins. If A Tale of Two Cities were written in first person narrative from one (or many) of the character's perspectives, the novel would read quite differently. Not necessarily worse, not necessarily better. Just different. Point of view shifts can affect voice, and that's something to keep in mind for your novel.

To find my voice for a novel, I like to take the main character I'm working with and freewrite from that character's perspective. Ask the character a question and have them start to talk. Don't interrupt them, just write what they tell you. It sounds crazy, but you'll discover a lot of useful things about them and the direction your story can go. Their voice will bleed through, mingle with yours and you will discover a possible voice for that novel. This voice is at once yours and the character's.

And that's what you want--a voice that is specific to both you as an author, and the character you've created.