NaNoWriMo Day #28: Seeking After Perfection

Today took me completely by surprise. So far, I've pumped out 8,570 words. 

Out of these 8,570 words, I'm sure that only about 5% of them will remain when I edit this NaNo novel. But that's not what NaNoWriMo is about. It's about getting the words out, getting them on the page, and not worrying about whether they are perfect, or even passable. 

Quantity, not quality. Definitely not the way I run the rest of my life.

This picture  should say "winner," but I have yet to validate my novel. I'm waiting until the last minute because I have an addiction to updating my word count and like to see it posted on the NaNo site.

The past few scenes of my NaNo novel have been what have pushed me over the "goal" edge towards "above the goal." The characters are continuing to come alive and the scenes are flowing naturally from my fingertips. This means my scenes have gone a lot longer than originally planned, and I have a dozen scenes left to write as I near the end of my 80K goal. (I've always been a long-winded writer, and this novel is no different.)

I can only thank God when my scenes are flowing like this, even if it means I have to cut out multiple scenes when I edit later. And I know that a lot of what I've written will be discarded as imperfect, unwanted material when I enter the editing process.

I've been struck today by just how much easier it is for me to write new scenes than to edit a novel I've already written. To me, the writing process is easy (at least, easier than editing). Just sit down, and type out the words--even if they aren't what you really want the pages to say, you can always fix it later.

It's the "fixing it later" part that I get hung up on. A dozen drafts later, and I still feel it's not perfect. 

Perfection. 

That's what I want. 

And yet, that's what I know I can never, ever obtain. 

No matter how many times I revise, no matter how long I stare at the page, I will always, always want to change something. I will always doubt, I will always correct. 

And there will always be someone else who thinks that my sentence, or metaphor, or entire plot, is less than perfect.

So why do I seek perfection when I know it is unattainable?

NaNoWriMo Days #26 & 27

I'm sad that the end of November is upon us. Well, sad and a little shocked to think of how quickly 2012 has flown by. This year has been a whirlwind of writing, distractions, injuries, broken-down cars and travel for me. I'm looking forward to a calmer 2013 (and hoping that it will, indeed, be calmer).

Anyways, yesterday was one of those hectic days of 2012 that I should be accustomed to by now, but still took me by surprise. I don't know where the day went, but I ended up home at 9:30 p.m., having only written a hurried 1539 words. This was less than half of what I needed to meet my goal for the remaining days of November. 

So I woke up this morning determined to redeem myself. And I did. My new goal was just over 4000 words in order to meet my 80K goal this month. So I cemented my butt in my favorite chair at Starbucks and ignored the headache that was constantly pulsing in my temples and upper neck.

I managed to tap out 4060 words before the pain got the best of me. It wasn't just any headache, but a villian of a headache, better known as a migraine. They always get me at the most inopportune days. (I suppose there aren't any good times to get a migraine, but mine always seem to attack when I need focus the most or are most determined to get things done.)

So I ended up returning home, taking much-needed medication and collapsing into bed for two hours with my cat, Dante Alighieri. Nothing like a cuddle with a cat and lying in bed with a jackhammer splitting open your skull on one of the final days of November to cause you to worry about meeting your NaNo goals.

Luckily, I did make today's goal. If I can write 12,000 more words over the next three days, I can meet my self-imposed NaNo goal. That's only 4000 words a day.

Let's hope I have no more migraines, and my 2013 luck is starting early...

Today's word count: 4,569
Total word count: 68,348

NaNoWriMo Day #25

We're really getting down to the wire now, and I've got a lot of words that did not get written today. Somehow, between a trip to the airport and recuperating after the holidays, I wrote less than a thousand words, while my goal was over three thousand. 

*sigh*

Unfortunately, tomorrow is looking to be a busy day as well, so I'll be trying to squeeze in writing between activities and appointments. 

When I know I have a busy day ahead, the day before is often one of my least productive days. A wide-open day I too often waste with little things that seem more like procrastinating than even relaxing. Today, for example, I've caught up on my blog readings and finished reading a book--instead of writing towards my NaNo goal.

Tomorrow's busy day then presents me with a mini-dilemma. I can take the day off from writing, and then need to write 4,440 words each day for four days in a row. Or, I can take my busy day and squeeze in writing time wherever I am and in the middle of whatever I'm doing, in the hopes of chipping away at that goal and attaining 3,552 words for each of the next five days.

Like a lot of people (and writers), I always find that I work better under a little bit of pressure. It forces me to get the words down on the page and gives me more of a deadline to work towards (as if five days hence is not deadline enough at this point to bust out another 17,760 words). 

So I think I choose the former option. I'll be chipping away at my word count tomorrow morning, diligently trying to reach my NaNo 2012 goal of 80K words in 30 days. And on November 30th, I'll validate my novel and be a winner for two years in a row and feel like I've accomplished a marathon.

Today's word count: 785
Total word count: 62,240

NaNoWriMo Day #24

Today was a much needed catchup day for me. After the holidays, where I enjoyed too much food and just the right amount of family and friends, my word count was suffering even more than my diet.

I'm glad to announce that today, my word count is back on track. However my diet is still in dire straits.

Today's word count: 4819
Total word count: 61455

NaNoWriMo Day#22

Happy Thanksgiving! This time of year it is a blessing to sit down with family and friends and enjoy a well-cooked meal. And this year, the turkey was finally as I like it: on the dry side (much to my hubby's chagrin).

Although I did not reach my word count today, I'm not stressed. I wrote just over 1000 words, and am at about 54K total. I've still got some work to do if I want to hit that 80K mark by the end of next week, but I think I can make it happen.

As long as I don't get caught in a tryptophan slumber from all my turkey leftovers....

NaNoWriMo Day#21

I thought I wouldn't get my words written today amidst Thanksgiving prepping, but I managed to get most of them typed. All I needed was a couple of hours sitting down at my desk and focusing to pump them out.

Lesson learned today: take what time you can to focus solely in writing and you can accomplish more than you think.

Happy writing.

NaNoWriMo Day #20

Two years in a row now, my November has been controlled by NaNoWriMo. I sleep, eat and dream of NaNo. The novel I choose to write holds the reins to my life for the entire month.

Well, I've come to the point of the month where I have conquered my demons. I've won.

Today, I passed the 50K mark. 

*insert cheer here*

It's a strangely anti-climactic feeling, knowing that the novel I'm working on is far from complete. 

What really happens at the 50K mark for me is that I have the urge to go back and edit what I've written. There are things I've changed, locations and specific details, which I need to go back and edit. But I know if I begin doing that, I'll stop writing new scenes and will instead focus on making all the scenes I've written up until now as good as I possibly can. The problem with that scenario is that I know as I write new scenes, more things will need to change, and more edits will need to occur. It's a sick cycle, really. A cycle I must postpone starting until at least December first.

So this is the point where I bite my lip and continue typing new material, willfully ignoring the almost unconquerable desire to edit. Instead, I make a note of what needs to be changed, lest I forget somewhere between the caffeine-induced, novel-writing frenzy of November. 

On December first, I'm certain I won't be taking a day off. I'll either be finishing my NaNo novel (word count and deadlines ignored), or I'll be diligently beginning my editing process. 

I guess we'll see which it is in ten short days.